Let Him...

Somedays I am overwhelmed. Being a foreigner in my own land seems too much. Not feeling I belong but knowing it is where I am meant to be. I long to cross over that wide open ocean once again. To feel the red African dirt between my toes, with the warmth of the Mozambican sun upon my skin. I miss the lush green landscape. The sounds and smells that seem so familiar. The feeling of home.
How do I make sense of dreams and hopes that seem to be shattered, left behind, ripped from underneath. It is simple yet feels so trying. Life goes on, and I am glad it does because that is the way of God. He is forever making all things new. Even me, in my weakness and untrusting. Even my dreams in their shallowness and unseeing eyes. My hopes, I am learning, to leave in Him alone. Not in plans or places or people. Only in Him. My mind tells me that I need a plan, a way to proceed. But from deep within I can hear my spirit cry out who can know the mysteries of God and the best way is to let it be instead of trying to package it all up.

Let Him be my home. Let Him design the dreams. Let Him be my hope. Let it be, to Him.

Dreaming the Impossible...

There are deep dreams God has placed in the well of my heart. If I am honest there are so many times that I question will those things ever come to pass. I hope for them. But in a precious quiet time before the Lord today, worshipping Him, I was reminded to not focus on those dreams. My spirit was drawn to instead focus on the dream giver. He is worthy of all my trust and confidence. Not just for what I think He wants to do in and through me but for HIS loving tender mercy that He continually pours on me.

It's just a matter of time. It's all fashioned from the very fabric of God. I will wait. I'll be faithful. I was made for loving you.