Highschool Anxiety

So, my oldest son turned fourteen a few months ago which means come the fall it will be time for him to begin highschool. There is some serious anxiety happening about this. Not by him, BY ME. How on earth did this happen? When did my beautiful, chubby, easy going, blue eyed baby boy turn into a muscular, handsome, rugged, often emotional young man? Somedays I just don't know how we got here or at least not this quickly. There are days that I myself still feel like a child so I don't know how on earth it is that I have a teenage "man" calling me mom in a very deep voice. I still look for the stranger wandering around our house when I hear "that man" talking. It seems like it crept up on me out of nowhere. Yesterday, he was playing with cars and legos and loved to watch cartoons. Today he totes around a BB gun, wears army fatigues, shaves and talks about learning to drive. For those that fear I am failing at this whole letting go thing don't worry I don't bemoan these things outloud to him. Well, except for the times I force him to cuddle up on the couch next to me and I hug him like a wild woman and call him my baby until he can't take it anymore and flees the scene.

Happy Valentines Day

May you find the moments with your loved ones sweet, long, comforting and often.

New Years

This year I seem to be approaching New Year's with a lot more reflection on the past and forethought for the year ahead. Maybe it's because I am getting older, maybe because I need to make some changes, or maybe because life has just been a little slower this year and I've had time to think. It seems I was drawn to ask myself some questions concerning my spiritual, physical and mental health. And then the list came together.

Here are a few things my heart tells me I need to make happen in the coming year:

1. Consistent, longer daily times with the Lord.
2. Experiment with more healthy cooking.
3. Get regular physical exercise.
4. Read more. Especially about things important to me.
5. Make time and opportunity for important conversations with my boys.
6. Learn some new skills like bread baking, crocheting.
7. Do more scripture memorization.
8. Continue "dating" my husband each month.

Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas this year although it did seem to go by way too fast.

Reading...

Winter, or at least colder weather always seems to lend me time to do more reading than usual. I am one of those people that is in the middle of a couple of books at any one time. Usually one on the coffee table in the living room and one on my night stand. It all depends on my mood and interests for that day or week. It's very strange for me since I am quite organized in the other areas of my life but maybe that is why I find great joy in it.

Currently on my "In the middle of it list" is:

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One Thousand Gifts

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Monique and the Mango Rains

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Once I am finished with these two...

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  Kisses from Katie

I am so thankful that I can read. So many in this world do not have the honor of learning to read and I am grateful.

Beginning to Look Like Christmas Around Here

The stockings are hung...

The Christmas parade has happened...

The tree is decorated...

The Advent candles have been lit...

The homemade garland has been strung...

The snowman family is on display...

The African nativity is in it's place...

NOW ALL WE NEED IS SNOW!!

Thankful

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving. As I write the pumpkin pies are cooking in the oven. The house is filled with sweet smelling spices. The kids are bored. The Christmas music is playing in the background. Outside there is snow on the branches from a light, overnight sprinkling. It's the "perfect" holiday mood, right?

My heart is full because I have so much to be thankful for like always. We all do-ALWAYS! Just some years our perspective becomes more clouded than others and we focus on our heartbreaks, our dissapointments, our loneliness, our brokenness.We turn our eyes inward instead of upward.

I am remembering Thanksgiving 2009. It will always be so special to me. It was nothing fancy that is for sure. There was no holiday music, no cold weather ( if fact we were sweating like crazy), no fat, juicy turkey (only a skinny imported one from Brazil that cost a pretty penny), and no abundance of fancy decorations or elaborate spread of food. But there was thanks giving. We had driven out to our friends farm in the bush in Mozambique. They were still in the process of building there house built out of mud, straw and cow dung-yes, literally. There in the scorching heat with our Thanksgiving spread on a wobbly table under the canopy of a landrover we celebrated being together and being thankful that in the midst of a not so comfortable life we could celebrate the ONE that makes life worth living and life worth giving. Amazing!

So today I am thankful to know what true Thanks-giving feels like. Today I am thankful for all those friends I have that continue to lay down their lives daily for the ONE that makes giving thanks possible.