Like most people I know, I dwell on the difficulties, the missing things. I live ungrateful. I only see my "suffering." Being focused on all the wrong things. Choosing to think on the struggles of living as a family in a small room, feeling out of place here in the US, missing friends, desiring a true sense of fellowship, wondering what our future holds, and longing to find significance in our new reality.
Then I find others that are truly suffering.
An American couple that are missionaries to Haiti. Their youngest daughter, who is four seemed to be fighting a lingering case of malaria only to find out that instead she is dying of cancer that has ravaged her little body. I know only a glimpse of the pain that comes from seeing your child physically suffer and having to wonder if you will lose them. I can't imagine but I am humbled. Ashamed at my weakness, my pride, my sin.
A wife and mother in Canada that has suffered an unimaginable nightmare. She and her husband were driving with their four children when an oncoming car smashed into them. Her husband died. She and her children survived. They remain in hospital with casts, wheelchairs, broken bones, scars and bodies littered with shards of broken glass. How does she go on? Why do I take my husband and sons for granted all too often? Jesus forgive me.
I am brought to my knees, seeking to be different. Choosing to remember all I have that is wonderful and lovely in this life. Help me Lord to live grateful.