Let Him...

Somedays I am overwhelmed. Being a foreigner in my own land seems too much. Not feeling I belong but knowing it is where I am meant to be. I long to cross over that wide open ocean once again. To feel the red African dirt between my toes, with the warmth of the Mozambican sun upon my skin. I miss the lush green landscape. The sounds and smells that seem so familiar. The feeling of home.
How do I make sense of dreams and hopes that seem to be shattered, left behind, ripped from underneath. It is simple yet feels so trying. Life goes on, and I am glad it does because that is the way of God. He is forever making all things new. Even me, in my weakness and untrusting. Even my dreams in their shallowness and unseeing eyes. My hopes, I am learning, to leave in Him alone. Not in plans or places or people. Only in Him. My mind tells me that I need a plan, a way to proceed. But from deep within I can hear my spirit cry out who can know the mysteries of God and the best way is to let it be instead of trying to package it all up.

Let Him be my home. Let Him design the dreams. Let Him be my hope. Let it be, to Him.

Dreaming the Impossible...

There are deep dreams God has placed in the well of my heart. If I am honest there are so many times that I question will those things ever come to pass. I hope for them. But in a precious quiet time before the Lord today, worshipping Him, I was reminded to not focus on those dreams. My spirit was drawn to instead focus on the dream giver. He is worthy of all my trust and confidence. Not just for what I think He wants to do in and through me but for HIS loving tender mercy that He continually pours on me.

It's just a matter of time. It's all fashioned from the very fabric of God. I will wait. I'll be faithful. I was made for loving you.

Abiding with Him

John 15:7 “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”

ABIDE……to remain, continue, stay, dwell, reside, continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, to last, endure, sustain, or withstand without yielding, to await, to accept without opposition or question, to act in accord with, to submit to, agree to, to remain steadfast or faithful, to keep.

Blessed to Love Him...

This afternoon I called my husband at work. I nearly never do this and honestly expected that I would only be leaving a message on the cell phone as usually in the mechanic shop he can't hear it ring anyway. That was fine with me because I just felt the need, the longing to tell him how much I love him and appreciate him. Nothing unique, nothing life shaking, but just to build him up with words and love. The need to express how blessed I know I am to be his wife, his partner in this life. I was surprised when he answered the phone. I had butterflies in my stomach, excited and nervous all at once, telling him why I had called. How blessed am I to be loved by this man that loves me deeply and so well in every way he knows.

Loving Because He is Loved...

This is Manuel with his wife Laurinda and baby daughter Graca Sara.

He is so very special to us.

You see we first met this amazing young man when he was just a boy.

He lived at the orphanage where we served in Mozambique in 1997.

Each time we have returned to Mozambique we have reconnected with Manuel.

Each time our relationship has deepened.

He calls us mom and dad and we consider him our Mozambican son.

We are so proud of him.

He is walking strongly with the Lord.

He is motivated by God's love to love others, especially orphans.

He is unusual in a country of such hardship that he cares for others above himself.

These are some of the orphans he is currently loving and longing to help.

We know we must play a role but are unsure exactly how.

Will you pray for him?

Will you pray for us?
We can not sit idly by!
Can't we eat rice and beans one day a week so these little ones have something to eat at all? 

We are compelled by love from the Father.

We long to make a difference in his life and in these precious little ones lives.

How Lord, how?

Instilling Love

My boys are 13 and nearly 12 now. I can't believe it. Somedays I wish I could cuddle them still in my arms with their head resting on my shoulder like when they were infants and wanted to snuggle after just waking up from a nap. How sweet those days were. These days however are just as sweet. Instead of snuggling them on my shoulder (although I still do snuggle them quite often even if they will soon be taller than me) I find myself pouring love into them verbally, mentally, emotionally. They are looking for instruction in how relationships in this world work and I get the gift of filling them with love and assurance. I have the honor of teaching them that LOVE is worth the risk and that even when human beings dissapoint God never does.

My only regret is I do not take advantage of the opportunity enough and miss times of instilling love.

Being a Sender

I am living life on a different side of the ocean these days, different side of the world for that matter. It has been a slow process to re-integrate back into "this" life and honestly most days it has felt like we are alone on a deserted island with barely a life raft to grab on to. It is difficult to describe and difficult to understand I imagine. I am only learning how to process it all and keep from feeling like you are sinking and getting lost in the unknown. How odd it feels to be in "your HOME country" yet feel so out of place, so not a part, and so completely foreign. Processing through all of these emotions and transitions has made me that much more passionate about missions and supporting the missionaries. I know how they feel on the other side of the ocean when some days it seems that you are out of sight, out of mind. I know the stress you endure to live and function in a totally different culture. I know the pressure you feel to perform for everyone so they stay interested, engaged and supportive. It is not easy and that is why I am so excited to be a part of "Being a Sender." What a privledge to encourage, support and help equip missionaries to fulfill their God given callings. What a responsibility to love them well, stand with them in all things and do our part. I am honored.